But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
