I'm lost and stupid without you.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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