I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
