Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
