I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
