She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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