If i come over, it means nothing
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
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