i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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