i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
