I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
