If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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