I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
so much tequila, so little girl.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
