that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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