Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
