But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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