I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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