Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
