xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
