I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
