Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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