I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
No subtext here. People are naked.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize