apparently the secret to your success is patron
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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