escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
