Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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