Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize