My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
