just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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