I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
