Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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