I feel great
I just peed on a car
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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