im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
