i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
