i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
