Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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