Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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