We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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