It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize