oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
