Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
