the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
