So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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