New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
