Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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