So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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