Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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