How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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