Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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