Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize