Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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