And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i out mim tonsoeep
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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