The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
