my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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