Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
