idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
