I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i've created a new STD.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
