This girl is more easily done than said...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
