ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
