I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
