So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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