She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
