I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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