I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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