I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
